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© 2016 by Carolina Porto International Transition Coach

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How to choose what I share with friends?

May 11, 2017

I should be doing something else. I am really busy this week, and should not be writing, at least not starting something new. But I have to.

 

The last weekend I was side by side with someone struggling with an upcoming move. She had just found out that she would need to move to a foreign country, with a complete different culture and language and, on the top of it, she has a little less than two months to deal with that. And the children. The process did not end with the weekend, but the image started to clear up in her head, and she started to make some plans.

 

When she came to me, she had already started her grieving process talking to friends, every single friend that was available to listen to her know the history by now. And with that the deception was added to the moving "to do list". Without a blink of an eye, more people than she would have expected was aware of the whole history and some had used it to their own benefit.

 

A friend of mine was almost the reason why her husband would not get a promotion. On a similar situation, she commented with a friend that she would rather move to one country than another (where they were being sent to). The message that has arrived in the company's management ears was that she did not want to move to the country they were being sent to. A confusion cleared up thanks to a transparent manager that decide to ask the question straight forward.

 

We all need to vent! Put it out there, talk to people, be grumpy, sad, happy or whatever we want to feel about things that are happening to us.

 

The most important thing is not what to share with friends, but with whom should we share? 

 

Once you have your real friends, that group of people that will cheer for you no matter what, that will cry with you and be there for you, you can share anything! 

 

This group of people is also getting wet out there, is also getting in trouble. Is trying to live their lives to the maximum. They are not the perfect, criticising people watching from the stand while you get beaten down. They will go down with you, get dirty and enjoy it - because they are with you.

 

Choose that group wisely and life will be easier every day.

 

Live in the present moment. Be well,

Carolina

 

 

 

 

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